Practical problems with becoming parents…and coming from different countries

I do promise a good blog about my great summer vacation in Iceland soon, I just have to get the last pictures to my computer and make a real picture blog 🙂

Today I woke up too early for a Saturday morning. The reason: I still have few pages to write in my thesis…and many pages to correct. So now my weekends are just Sundays 🙂 This morning I was home alone and read the paper that I usually don’t do so much, since Henrik takes it with him in the train on the way to work. There were not really any news, except some encouragements to young people to start studying (strange since this nation is way too educated and can’t get a job that fits them) and some tips about where you should travel in your vacation(even stranger, since all Danes have planned there holidays so long time ago! 😉 ). And then there was an article about a Danish man who had to smuggle his son into the country.

You could thing that it was because the son was a criminal or something like that, but the problem was: the son was born by a French woman (the guys girlfriend) in France, and since they are not married the child doesn’t have Danish citizenship. When the guy discovered that he couldn’t cut the line for French passport (that according to the article is really long!) it was too late to get the passport for the child in time before they were suppose to go on holiday to Denmark. They couldn’t fly with the child without a passport so they ended up taking the train and hoping the best that no one would ask for the child’s passport.

I had actually discovered this problem with children with a Danish father and a foreign mother, born outside of Denmark few days ago when I started to try to find out which citizenship our child will be able to get. It is so crazy! At some time when the feminist in Denmark (that I have never meet, and haven’t heard from eater in media or other places…do they actually still exist ? ) started to fight for women’s right in the society, someone found out that they could at least get these children! So, all (almost) legal things about children are automatically on the mother side when a child is born in Denmark.  If I would give birth to our child in Iceland, the child would not be able to get Danish citizenship automatically even though it’s dad is a Dane. No, we would have to apply for it, and that takes at least a year!

When it comes to maternity leave that is quite long here in Denmark, a whole year, it is not so common that men take more than 2 weeks of this year to stay at home with the child. Why ? Well, most  men-jobs that often belong to the private sector, only offer people to get unemployment-money while they are on leave. That means, for the average man with a master degree, will lost at least 2/3 of their salaries while on a leave. That is quite hard for every family to lose so much money from their monthly budget.  Of course this is not the fact for all men, luckily, and more and more Danish men take the time off to take a part of the first year of their child. But it is definitely not made easy. And now I’m not even mentioning the attitude at many working places, where it is not considered normal for a man to take a leave to take care of there child.

In the welfare countries in the Nordic countries you actually get money for having children! Yes quite smart (even though it’s doesn’t work here in Denmark, people are still not getting enough children – only 1,8 per women). It’s called “child-money” in direct translation. They are paid out every third month, and surprisingly, always to the mothers account, except if the father is the only one who has custody over the child. Why can’t you just get 50/50.

In our case the child will have the right to get Danish citizenship since it will be born in Denmark and it will always have the right for an Icelandic citizenship, cause it has one parent that is Icelandic (and it doesn’t matter that it’s the mother). Now I’m just trying to find out if the child can have both citizenships at the same time. Denmark does not allow double citizenship, but Iceland does, but I really think I had found out that we could get around. If the fact is that we have to choose, I’m quite sure that I will choose the Danish one, only because of money. The child can then get financial support through his study time in the future ! 😉

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4 thoughts on “Practical problems with becoming parents…and coming from different countries

  1. Skemmtilegar pælingar Freyja! …spottaði í lokin að þú skrifaðir “his study time” er þetta sem sagt strákur??? Einn vinnifélagi minn á mömmu frá USA og hann hefur 2faldan ríkisborgararétt þó hann búi í DK og eigi DK pabba. Hann sagði einmitt það væri h ægt að komast fram hjá þessu einhvern veginn:)

    Heyrumst fljótlega, þarf að fara kíkja á bumbuna! bkv. sg.

  2. Já það virðist vera lítið mál að komast fram hjá þessu. Barnið fær fyrst danskan og svo sækirðu um Íslenskan og þeir biðja þig ekkert um að gefa upp þann danska svo þá er barnið óvart komið með tvo. Ég hef heyrt um marga sem hafa sótt um ríkisborga rétt í landi sem leyfir bara einn og þeim er sagt að segja upp öllum öðrum ríkisborgararéttum og þau segja já og amen en segja svo engu upp og enginn tékkar neitt, veit ekki um neinn sem hefur haft nein vandræði með það.

  3. Þú þarft samt ekki að vera danskur ríkisborgari til að fá borgað fyrir nám, bara að búa í Danmörku með a.m.k. öðru foreldri þínu fyrir 20 ára aldur. Frænka mín fækk a.m.k. borgað af því að hún fór út í nám í DK áður en hún varð 20 ára og það vildi svo til að pabbi hennar átti heima þar þá önnina, og þau er bæði íslensk.

  4. Sif: þú ert alltaf velkomin í heimsókn 🙂
    Ásdís: já… danirnir eru bara ansi strangir á þetta núna. Og þetta með að fá SU bafa afþví að foreldrar manns hafa búið í DK er ekki alltaf nóg og núna eru þeir líka búnir að setja enn strangari reglur. Í raun strangari en EU hefur, sem EU er ekkert alltof hrifið af. En Ég finn útur þessu áður en það verður aktuellt að taka ákvarðanir 🙂

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